Saturday, 22 November 2014

Searching

I woke up a midnight crying because of a dream I had. The dream felt so vivid and I actually remembered it because usually I forget most of my dreams. I decided to write out my dream. I usually do recaps of drama but I felt like i should share this dream with you guys. Hope you like it and comment about it!


Never give up searching until you find your answer.


I didn’t want to leave my child; I wanted to go with him too. It was hard to say goodbye, but Richard will be there with him.

I first met Richard in university through the book club. He fell in love with me when he first saw me; I guess it was love at first sight for him. As for me, I didn’t know of his existent yet. Every week we would have a meeting for the book club and as I leave the meeting every time, I would find a little paper in my jacket pocket about the book I was reading.

I couldn’t figure out who the sender was until it was the last meeting before Christmas break. Richard came up to me and handed me a little paper then just ran away. The note said ‘Hi, my name is Richard. I was the one leaving you the little papers, I hope you didn’t find it annoying.’

The next few days I was determined to find Richard in school before the winter break. I caught sight of him a few times but every time he runs the other way. I will talk to him one way or another.

That morning I went to school and had a craving for coffee, as I walked closer to the cashier, I noticed that Richard was one of the four people in line. I thought ‘Gotcha!’

I sneaked closer to him and grabbed his hand and pulled him aside. The shock written all over him face was priceless and I would be laughing if not for the anger swelling inside of me. I asked, “Why are you avoiding me?” He made all these hand gestures that I didn’t understand and then it clicked, he was unable to speak.

I felt like he didn’t have to be ashamed of his condition, it’s the personality that counts. While I was thinking that to myself he took it as a rejection. The sad look on his face and the slouched shoulders made me want to hug him and that was what I did. This is the second time seeing his shocked face and I laughed this time.

I told him, “I don’t care about your condition. I only look at the personality. And I believe we haven’t properly introduce ourselves yet.” My name is Heather and I already know your name because of the note.

Richard’s parents were ashamed of him, regardless of that, he still found a way to strive on in life and became a chemical engineer. That one negative thing in life should not bring you down, but learn to overcome it and become stronger.

We hanged out with each other and found that we get along really well. After three months, we started to date each other. Richard is a year older than me and on the day of his graduation, he proposed to me. He gave me an engagement ring and said we will marry after I graduate. I was so happy to hear that!

A few months after I graduated, we got married! We only had a small get together with the family and that was the way we liked it, not too extravagant. Of course I wore a wedding dress, only it was at a photo studio.

A year after our wedding took place, I found out that I was pregnant. I had no idea what was wrong with me for the past few days and when I went to see a doctor, I finally knew.

I took him out shopping, which he hates. I think all guys hate shopping, never found one that liked it. I dragged him to the baby department and said, “Isn’t this cute?” He gave me a questioning look and said, "we don’t have a baby." I thought, ‘Hubby, you are so wrong.’ I took his hands and placed it on my stomach.  He knew instantly that we were having a kid.

I have never been in so much pain before; these contractions come like every minute. I may be exaggerating, I honestly don’t know because of all the pain that I was in. As I heard the first sound of crying, I knew it was worth it. Our baby Cody was born.

When Cody turned three, we bought a bigger home because Cody needed his own room and I needed a room for my office. We went to say hi to our neighbors and found out that their son is two years older than Cody. Our neighbors are Holly Anderson, Mike Anderson and their son Connor Anderson. Cody and Connor became the best of friends and us parents got along too.

Richard came into my home office one day and tells me we are going on a joint-family trip with the Anderson family. This cruise vacation sounds so relaxing but I can’t go because of work.

I’m in the airport saying my goodbyes to Richard, Cody, Holly, Mike, and Connor. I said, “Enjoy the nice warm weather there while I suffer in 5 feet of snow!”  I kissed Richard and Cody before seeing them go through the gate. I told myself they will be back in a week.

After a few days, I was watching the evening news and it said a cruise ship crashed. Adrenaline filled my body and I raced over to the phone and called Richard. I reached his voicemail, damn it! I called the cruise company and had to deal with the gruesome automated message “please press 1 for English, please press 2 for…” I threw the phone to the floor.

I sat down and tired to calm myself. I looked at the news again and it said the cruise line number. I remember Richard telling me before he left that he put information about the cruise on the refrigerator. I raced to it and the numbers 2031101 matched with the numbers that was on the tv screen.


I broke down and cried for hours. The phone rang at midnight, Mike was on the phone, and he said Richard is here with him. I am so relieved, I asked, “How is Cody doing? The poor little guy must be scared out of his mind.” Mike didn’t say anything, I thought he hung up the phone until he finally says, “Cody and Connor are missing.”

There were 200 people on that tiny cruise and 10 people ended up missing. Cody and Connor just happen to be among the 10 people. A stroke of bad luck is what Cody and Connor experienced.

I cleared all my thoughts, calmed my body down with a few deep breaths. I need to stay collected; I can’t let Cody see me all worried when we find him.

I went to the airport to pick up Richard. Once I saw him, I ran into his arms crying. Mike came and was supporting the emotional Holly. Mike said, “They are doing everything they can to search for the missing 9 people. They found one person because he didn't drift that far.”

That night, the news said there would be a thunderstorm where the ship crashed and all searching will come to a halt. I stared blankly at the screen, I kept on chanting inside my head ‘keep calm and stay collected.’

The search for the missing stopped after two months. They managed to find one other person who is in a coma right now. I can’t believe they stopped searching, I will continue on. I believe that Cody is still alive and well. I will never give up until I find Cody.

1 year later

This whole year I have been flying back and forth to search for Cody and Connor. I haven’t given up. Mike and Holly did better when she found out that she was pregnant three months after the crash. Their kid is one and a half year old right now. Richard has been encouraging me and supporting me financially. 

1 year later

Richard became ill and had to get hospitalize. I flew back and stayed by his side for the last couple of months of his life. His last words were, “I love you and Cody.”

Richard had saved enough money for me to keep on searching for at least 10 years! I thought, ‘Thank you Richard, I will defiantly find our son.’

2 years later

Each year there was a get together on the day the ship crashed to mourn for the 8 people that are still missing. I have never been to it because I have been too busy searching.

This year was different, I actually showed up, but not without an answer. I stood in front of all the families from the tragic crash. I told them, “I never gave up... and today I will give you an answer.” I took out an old and worn looking book and showed it to everyone. It turns out to be a pop up color book.

Just looking at it, I knew Cody made it because the book is made very uniquely. Richard was the one that tired to teach Cody the colors with a very similar book. Richard thought learning braille might be fun so he bought a braille pop up color book to learn with Cody. The book that Cody made had some braille that was in Richard’s book. I guess Cody learned something from his father.

Inspecting it carefully I saw the word ‘Cody’ written in a page, Cody doesn’t know how to write so I assume someone else was with him. In one of the pages near the end, it had a tiny braille number 6 on it. I tear up knowing the meaning of this. Cody must have died at age 6.

A few days after we found the book, we found 5 skeletons not too far off from where we found the book.

I looked up at the sky and hugged the book and said, “I finally found you Cody.”









1 comment:

  1. This is brilliant. :) I love the way you build up and build up until we're left with a certain catharsis at the end.

    ReplyDelete